Archives For parenting

Just As We Are

September 21, 2015

IMG_4651I’m not sure why, but after you become a parent it opens the doors to complete strangers asking the most personal of questions. Before having kids when I would see someone with a baby the most I would comment was saying “Oh, how precious. How old?” I feel like that is a perfectly fine statement and question to ask. But, then there are the questions and/or statements that are much more personal and sometimes rude or inappropriate. The most frequent statement I get is this, “Ahh, two boys. Are you going to keep going for a girl?” And there it was. The assumption that our family is not complete without a boy AND a girl. Here’s the thing, we do want more children, and if we are blessed to have a little girl then that is amazing and we will be so thankful. However, if we have four children and they are all boys we will be just as thankful and feel equally blessed to be raising up men of God. Why is it a societal norm to have a certain number of kids and expecting that you must have a certain ratio of genders?

I can tell you that I absolutely ADORE being a mom of boys. There is something about the sweetness of a mommy and son relationship. My eldest is so kind, tender hearted, he loves helping me and he’s very intuitive. With my Lupus he can tell when I’m not feeling well, sometimes he will ask “are you okay mom?” when he notices that I’m not my usual self. When I tell him I’m not feeling well the first thing he does is pray for mommy to feel better. Seriously, could my heart melt anymore? My youngest is almost a year old and he is the biggest momma’s boy, and I wouldn’t change it for anything! He’s super cuddly and also stubborn, he will be our bruiser who attempts any and all things. I’m also about 100% sure that he will be the child who I miss his first steps because he will intentionally do it when my back is turned, he’s such an adorable little stinker!

Parenting is no small feat. But parenting boys has challenges that are far different from parenting girls. Here’s the thing, boys are crazy, messy, loud, high energy, into everything, curious, and sometimes stinky (oh the teen years, please someone send me all the scented candles! Ha!). BUT, they are also lego building, super hero fighting, car and sports loving, goofy, funny, creative, loving, kind hearted, and sweetest little blessings ever! I look at the opportunity to raise my two boys up to be honorable, generous, compassionate, unique, creative and men of God as the biggest journey and most important task given to me! For all the families that have a daughter, I want to raise my boys up to be the men of chivalry that will love, respect and honor the women in their lives.

So the answer to the question that strangers ask me is simply this: Yes, I want more children. Do I want a girl? The biggest thing is that I don’t ever want my boys to feel like we were disappointed or wanted something else. Because I couldn’t imagine life without the two amazing blessings we already have in our boys! I want whatever blessings God will give us! Our family is complete and whole because ever child is a perfect gift from God!

“No Mom, it’s okay. I want to suck my thumb.” 

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The first Lego set he built all by himself

My child actually said this to me this morning when I asked him to take his thumb out of his mouth. I couldn’t help but crack up laughing. Of course son, I know you want to suck your thumb, that’s why you do it. I never expected him to answer me with that kind of response though! When did he become a tiny adult? I mean seriously, it feels like overnight he has gone from a baby in diapers to this grown up kid with opinions of his own!

Honestly, I love watching him grow! But, I’m not sure how ready I am for this growing up thing, and the day that he thinks he doesn’t need moms help anymore. It’s every parents struggle, you are thrilled to watch them grow, learn and begin to do things for themselves. But, inevitably they grow up and these years of playing legos for hours, helping tie their shoes and playing super heroes will be behind us and they will be young adults facing new sets of challenges, surprising me with their sense of humor and wisdom. I don’t think that there will ever be a season during this parenting journey where you aren’t surprised by the new things your kids have learned or by how quickly the time has gone. It’s just part of parenting.

Yes, I hate how quickly time goes. Yes, I would love to keep him small for just a little while longer. But, if I did that then I would miss out on the precious moments that come with each new age. I would have missed out on a morning of him cracking me up with his fun personality and sense of humor, seriously, he is hilarious! I think the best thing to remember is that our children will grow up, that’s just how life goes. But, there is so much joy to be had in ever stage of life. Just be in the moment and enjoy every minute of it!

 

Little guy watching cartoons while sick

The stomach bug has made its appearance in our home. It all started on Wednesday when I got a call from Eli’s preschool saying that he was sick. I picked him up and decided that since he had this bug it would be good to have some pedialyte in the house for him. With us being a one car family and Chase was already at work I figured now was the best time to go get it because we were already out and what if he got worse later in the day and it wouldn’t be practical to get back out. So with that I pulled into the neighborhood Wal-Mart that was on our way home and headed inside. I didn’t make it two steps inside before he started throwing up, yes I am aware that this might be to much of a painted picture for some… but hey, we are all moms so we all deal with this. Anyways, I managed to keep everything contained and not get any on the floor, you’re welcome Wal-Mart! I darted for the bathroom where he could finish throwing up, because yes it was still coming. After that I cleaned up the mess we made and cleaned us up the best possible and then decided that although I seemed to be a little like superwoman just then, I would like some help. This would be when I called Chase explaining to him everything that happened and asked him if I could swing by his office, grab him to help us get home and then he could go out and get the pedialyte while I cleaned Eli and I up. The awesome hubby that he is was watching for me out his office window and came right out as soon as I pulled up. He then managed to help us get inside, cleaned up and went to the store and back all before returning back to work. What a blessing that man is!

I call my Wal-Mart trip my worst decision ever! I mean it seemed like the best idea at the time, what else was I supposed to do? Being a one car family and I had the car this was the most logical idea, or so it seemed to me. I know that I can’t be the only one who made a similar terrible decision that at the time seemed so great. If you are reading this and saying how crazy this entire situation is then you probably have never been puked on, well your day will come. Trust me! Every parent will get this experience, mine just happened to be in public. For the rest of you, your probably reading this with a slight chuckle in your throat because you have experienced something very similar yourself. Then there are probably some of you reading this that do not have kids yet and I totally just grossed you out. Don’t worry, puke is puke, it is gross no matter what, BUT when it is your kid the gross factor is secondary to their helplessness and their need for you. So if you don’t have kids yet, don’t fret because when your day comes you will be able to handle yourself like superwoman, that is just what moms do in these situations!

And just to add a side note, in the time it took to finish this post Chase has now come down with the stomach bug as well, I guess it’s only time before superwoman gets it too…

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs  22:6 (NIV)

Last week a few of my friends and I went to a ladies night at church. It was such a great evening! One of the points that I loved and has stuck with me was intentional parenting. My husband and I have said many times that we want to raise strong Christian children and that’s what we try to do daily with our son. The thing about intentional parenting that really stood out to me was the daily aspect, the speaker talked about finding Jesus in the everyday moments and taking those opportunities to teach our children. We don’t have to wait until Sunday morning during their Bible lessons for our children to be taught about God’s word. No child is to young or to old to start. All it takes is a simple moment where we pray, read the Bible together or talk about the beautiful day God created to start the curiosity in our child to continue asking more questions about God. If we find a way to daily teach our children about God then it won’t be by chance that we raise a strong Christian child, it will be because we were intentional!

“Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family

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My son will be six months old this week! Wow, does time fly by! He is at such a fun stage… almost sitting up on his own, two teeth have almost made their way in, and he is working on crawling. He goes in circles and backwards but has not officially crawled yet. I have so many videos of him doing nothing because I think he is about to crawl and I want to capture it. I know what will happen… he will crawl when I am not in the room or if I am, I wont have the camera on. As much as I want him to crawl, I am okay that he hasn’t. I am trying to enjoy every moment while he is little because I know how fast this time will go. One day he will be crawling and the next he will be in school. When it comes to raising children we need to take every day as a gift and enjoy each moment we have at every stage, because one day they will grow up. We can’t stop our babies from growing up, all we can do is take joy in each stage that they are in and do our best to raise them right. No my little one is not crawling yet and he is by no means anywhere near growing up and leaving home, but with each milestone he comes to I am reminded that he will not be little forever. So I am taking each milestone as a gift and treasuring each one, taking joy in my time spent with my son because one day he will grow up.