Archives For patience

I am four weeks away from meeting my second child! It’s an amazing feeling knowing that we are so close, especially since this was a very long journey. With both of our boys we were not the lucky ones to conceive quickly. The first time around it took us seven months to get pregnant, while that is certainly not long compared to some people’s journeys it definitely is longer than we expected for being young and healthy. Little did we know that I had Lupus and it was playing a factor into me getting pregnant. This time around we were aware that it might take a while. But, I will say even though I thought it would take a while I did not expect it being a two-year wait.

Maternity_11I had weird symptoms for about four years off and on, but nothing that would tie anything together for the doctors to think, hmmm… maybe it’s Lupus. After my oldest was born I had a rough recovery and then around the time he was eight months old all the symptoms I had previously hit at once and more. By the time he was a year and a half I was diagnosed, finally. Truthfully, I was just glad to finally have a name, a thing, a reason for everything. I could finally know what I was working with. Getting any diagnosis is scary, especially one like Lupus since it is so mysterious and can attack any part of your body. It’s hard to predict and hard to treat. But, God gave me a peace from the beginning. My story is from Him, He has everything in control and Lupus is just part of my story and I have come to terms with that. He has plans for me!

Since I was young, one of the first things that the doctor asked was if I wanted to have anymore children. There was no question that I did, we had always talked about wanting to have a large family. But, it was going to have to wait… for the time being. Lupus patients can have safe pregnancies and healthy babies, but the best thing to do is first get it under control before putting your body through the stress of pregnancy. So that meant that I spent the next year working with the doctor to get everything controlled and to a point that I could get pregnant. That was hard, because by then in our ideal world we would have already been trying for another baby. Being told yes, but not right now is very trying…

After a year we finally got the okay from the doctor, everything looked good and we could try for our second child! Yay! And then came the next year… I honestly thought, oh it will take a while, but probably not longer than it took the last time. Well, it took exactly a year before we were pregnant. Since it was such a long wait I truthfully was in shock when I had a positive pregnancy test! You wait that long and eventually you start to think of it as a distant future thing, when it finally meets your present it’s so exciting you can’t believe it.

Fast forward a few months and I am sitting here, my oldest will be four next month and my youngest will be born within the next four weeks. It was definitely not the plan we had envisioned for our family, we had always pictured a two to three-year age gap. But, God has a much better, more beautiful plans than we can make for ourselves. Will we get to have four kids like we always imagined? I don’t know, and at first that saddened me. But now, I know that we will be given the number of children that God had planned for us from the beginning. If that means two, three or four it doesn’t matter, because whatever His plans are for me I am thankful! I am thankful to be called Mom and thankful for the two amazing little boys that God has blessed me with already.

A New Season Ahead

July 19, 2014 — Leave a comment

If you haven’t noticed, it’s been pretty quiet around my blog lately. I took about a 6 month break from pretty much all my writing. There was a lot going on and it just seemed like the thing that needed to happen, one less thing to think about in my day. But, only for a season, because I truly do love my writing time… and now I am back!

The Regal Ruby is our take on the classic Cherry Pie

The Regal Ruby is our take on the classic Cherry Pie

The last post that I wrote was about The Year of Pie. Well, many of you probably already know that I have started a company with one of my friends, Viva La Pies. This was all in the beginning stages when I took my writing break. I have wanted to own my own Pie and Coffee shop for about eight years now. It never failed that when we would visit family in a small town in east Texas, Chase and I would find ourselves in the local pie shop dreaming about my future shop. We had talked about the “someday” pie shop for so many years that when we began to get more serious about it, it was kind of surreal. Finally, Chase asked me, “if you didn’t try, would you regret it?” I had no question in my mind what the answer was, yes… I would always wonder what-if. And with that we had our answer. My business partner and I worked for several months perfecting our menu and getting it exactly how we wanted it. Then came time for the Kickstarter, because opening a pie shop can be rather pricey. We ran a month-long Kickstarter and unfortunately we were not funded. It was definitely a disappointment. But, that has not stopped us. And why should it? Right now, we are operating as a home bakery and are working towards our store front. God can see what is ahead, and for that I am thankful, because he knows the best time for this to happen. Not to mention, we have had a great receiving from our online followers once we started accepting pie orders as a home bakery.

Viva La Pies

Want some pie? Don’t worry, we have plenty!

 

Also during my writing break and in the middle of starting Viva La Pies, I found out that I was pregnant. This was a two-year long wait that we were very excited about! We were so ready to grow our family, and was starting to wonder if that was ever going to happen for us. Not to mention how my Lupus was going to respond. Thankfully Lupus has been so quiet, I can actually say that I don’t even realize I have it right now! Praise the Lord! Like I mentioned above, it was a disappointment when our Kickstarter was not funded, but it definitely made sense with what was going on within our own family, it would not have been easy to open up a store front while pregnant.

Now, I am home after two years of being in the workforce. Those two years taught me so much, and I am thankful for that time along with this new journey ahead. My days fill up fast as I have an amazing three-and-a-half year old who keeps me busy, a couple of days a week I work for one of Chase’s companies, along with marketing and baking pies for Viva, all while being pregnant. It’s busy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything! I am thoroughly enjoying the blessing we were given that is allowing me to work from home right now.

Sometimes, our timeline looks a little different from God’s timeline, but He always knows what He is doing!

 

I am not patient. But lately I am finding that God is teaching me this very difficult lesson. There are so many dreams I have for myself and our family that I truly believe are dreams instilled in me from God. Sometimes those things just don’t happen overnight. In fact, that is usually the case! With the world of instant gratification the idea of waiting is unthinkable! Patience, who has time for that? I’ll just zap my food in the microwave and my “baked lasagna” will be ready in less than 3 minutes! Why on Earth would I actually bake my lasagna in the oven for half an hour? Patience! Ha! Do we even know what the world actually means?

Dictionary.com defines patience as the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.

Go ahead and make an entire meal from the microwave! Why wait an hour?

Go ahead and make an entire meal from the microwave! Why wait an hour?

I’m pretty sure that our microwave zapping, instant streaming, world in our hands by the touch of an iPhone generation doesn’t have much of a chance! And I am right there with the rest of the population. If my iPhone is taking a hair too long to upload a page I’m annoyed, don’t even get me started when there are three commercials on Hulu instead of just one! Speaking of commercials, my child doesn’t even know what they are! We don’t have cable. Instead we bought Netflix and Hulu, made our lives cheaper and no commercials! The first time he experienced the world of commercials he was at his Aunt’s house and the Mickey Mouse Club House was rudely interrupted by a commercial. He energetically let out “I want more! More Mickey!” This continued until the show came back on. Little did we know getting rid of traditional cable would make my child impatient! It wasn’t our intention, I promise!

I’m not sure about your family, but we like to dream big! Chase and I will be driving down the road and one or both of us will start dreaming of having more children, when we can take a big Europe vacation, update our kitchen, get a second car, Chase’s businesses grow even larger and I write full-time. Our list of dreams go on and on. Here is what I am learning, rather slowly, these things might actually be our future but they won’t come easy and they won’t come with the push of a button. Sometimes we have to patiently wait where we are, work hard and enjoy the blessings of our current circumstances because as long as we are following God’s path, the blessings are sure to follow! This is something that I am having to remind myself of more often than not. I see what we are working towards, the steps we are taking and the amazing benefits of our sacrifices to get where we are wanting to go. But I still struggle with the microwave mentality. Can’t it just happen now? I’m trying daily to overcome this awful mindset because I know that when you are so focused on what you want someday, you miss out on the amazing of today! And I don’t want to miss out on the blessings of my here and now!

I really love to bake. When I was pregnant I stopped buying packaged cookies and other desserts because I had such a sweet tooth. Instead I supplied my cabinets with all things baking. When a craving would hit I had to weigh the desire of my sweet tooth to bake from scratch. Since then I have continued with this and have grown to love baking all the more, everything truly does taste better homemade!

Like I said, I really love to bake. But, I really really hate when I mess up a recipe!

You see I am a perfectionist. When it comes to baking I not only want it to taste amazing, I want it to look picturesque too.

Unfortunately there is a learning curve with everything, including baking. And that can be frustrating.

failed baking attemptI don’t really know what it is other than that silly perfectionism within me, but there is almost a sense of embarrassment or even a hint of failure when things end up a complete wash. If you are not a perfectionist then you wouldn’t understand. For some reason I feel the need to put these crazy expectations for myself. Yes, goals are a great and much-needed thing! But, there is such a thing as impractical goals. For example, after watching a marathon of Cake Boss I was going to be able to bake a gorgeous hand decorated cake all from scratch. I mean how hard could it be to use fondant? By the way I am not a fan of fondant, forget that stuff and bring on the buttercream! So I will proudly say that I failed at baking cakes, numerous times! The cake was dry, crumbly or just plain weird tasting. The icing was runny, over sugared, or I didn’t make enough. But you know what I learned through the process?

It’s OKAY to fail! WHAT? Did I really just say that?

Yes my friends, the world won’t end! With each failed attempt I got better, learned new tricks and became a little less concerned about the perfection and a lot more about making small improvements a long the way and having fun in the process.

Funny thing is what prompted this post is my second failed attempt at making a new dessert. Remember, I am not a fan of this! In case you were wondering it really is never good to try substituting condensed milk for evaporated milk or even basic milk. Nope, it’s a really bad idea actually! Instead of amazing, melt in your mouth key lime bars you end up with chunky key lime wannabes.

It’s okay to fail. Learn from this mistake if the recipe says condensed milk, it means condensed milk! 

The world seriously doesn’t care that I made an awful dessert tonight. I find it funny that something as simple as baking dessert can remind me that I’m not perfect. I wonder what my next dessert is going to tell me?

 

I stood with a glazed look over my face as I saw multiple rows with packages of seeds that all promise to one day be an actual vegetable if I simply planted them. In theory this should be a “no-brainer.” Pick the vegetables I want, get the dirt, a pot to plant them in and wallah! Except it’s not that easy. I’ve never had a plant, I don’t even know how often to water them let alone which type of tomato seed would grow best. Oh by the way, did I mention that I don’t know if this is even the right season for the seeds I’m planting? 

During the month of March I wanted to focus on gardening for “green month” of my Searching for Simplicity fast inspired by Jen Hatmaker‘s book 7. I’ve made many changes towards a greener lifestyle but gardening had never been something I had ever attempted. That made deciding what to do for the “green month” pretty easy, gardening it would be! With that I picked seven things to plant:

  • Tomatoes
  • Green onions
  • Basil
  • Oregano
  • Parsley
  • Cilantro
  • Sweet peppers
The first sprouts of my garden

The first sprouts of my garden

I will be honest, when I started I couldn’t tell you how often to water my garden and I still don’t! I pretty much just gave it a good look and if it seemed like the soil was damp I figured no need to water. Couldn’t even begin to tell you if this is accurate!

Patience. Oh how gardening requires this attribute! I had a little hunch that God’s message during this fast was going to be related to patience. I mean gardens don’t bloom over night! I even found myself asking “how long does it even take for seeds to start sprouting?” Day after day I would go outside, water my dirt and come back in. Nothing was happening and I kept telling myself that I was sure this would be a lesson in patience. And guess what… it was a lesson in what patience will bring! The other day I went outside to yet again water my dirt but instead I found sprouts! That’s right people, seeds actually grow! I got super excited, ran inside to tell Chase and to grab my phone to start taking pictures. I mean seriously, my vegetables had started to sprout, Facebook needed to know about this! It was my first attempt at gardening and I actually succeeded!

Confession: I can’t tell you what it is that sprouted because I can’t remember the order of where I planted everything. Whoops! I’m pretty sure it’s one of the herbs but I guess I will just have to wait and find out.

I have always been aware of the importance of patience. And in most situations I was always aware of the joy you felt after the wait was over. But it’s easy to forget and to find yourself back in that state of impatience when you are waiting.

How easy it was to plant these seeds and in a matter of a few short weeks I was reminded of what comes as a result of patience!