Archives For perfect timing

I am four weeks away from meeting my second child! It’s an amazing feeling knowing that we are so close, especially since this was a very long journey. With both of our boys we were not the lucky ones to conceive quickly. The first time around it took us seven months to get pregnant, while that is certainly not long compared to some people’s journeys it definitely is longer than we expected for being young and healthy. Little did we know that I had Lupus and it was playing a factor into me getting pregnant. This time around we were aware that it might take a while. But, I will say even though I thought it would take a while I did not expect it being a two-year wait.

Maternity_11I had weird symptoms for about four years off and on, but nothing that would tie anything together for the doctors to think, hmmm… maybe it’s Lupus. After my oldest was born I had a rough recovery and then around the time he was eight months old all the symptoms I had previously hit at once and more. By the time he was a year and a half I was diagnosed, finally. Truthfully, I was just glad to finally have a name, a thing, a reason for everything. I could finally know what I was working with. Getting any diagnosis is scary, especially one like Lupus since it is so mysterious and can attack any part of your body. It’s hard to predict and hard to treat. But, God gave me a peace from the beginning. My story is from Him, He has everything in control and Lupus is just part of my story and I have come to terms with that. He has plans for me!

Since I was young, one of the first things that the doctor asked was if I wanted to have anymore children. There was no question that I did, we had always talked about wanting to have a large family. But, it was going to have to wait… for the time being. Lupus patients can have safe pregnancies and healthy babies, but the best thing to do is first get it under control before putting your body through the stress of pregnancy. So that meant that I spent the next year working with the doctor to get everything controlled and to a point that I could get pregnant. That was hard, because by then in our ideal world we would have already been trying for another baby. Being told yes, but not right now is very trying…

After a year we finally got the okay from the doctor, everything looked good and we could try for our second child! Yay! And then came the next year… I honestly thought, oh it will take a while, but probably not longer than it took the last time. Well, it took exactly a year before we were pregnant. Since it was such a long wait I truthfully was in shock when I had a positive pregnancy test! You wait that long and eventually you start to think of it as a distant future thing, when it finally meets your present it’s so exciting you can’t believe it.

Fast forward a few months and I am sitting here, my oldest will be four next month and my youngest will be born within the next four weeks. It was definitely not the plan we had envisioned for our family, we had always pictured a two to three-year age gap. But, God has a much better, more beautiful plans than we can make for ourselves. Will we get to have four kids like we always imagined? I don’t know, and at first that saddened me. But now, I know that we will be given the number of children that God had planned for us from the beginning. If that means two, three or four it doesn’t matter, because whatever His plans are for me I am thankful! I am thankful to be called Mom and thankful for the two amazing little boys that God has blessed me with already.

Provision: Waiting

June 14, 2011 — Leave a comment

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14 (NIV)

Today I was out running some errands with my mom. We were talking about last year. My brother was out of work for a while and during that time God brought my mom to this verse in Psalm to share with him. The waiting game was longer than we had hoped, but God provided the place for him to be at and it has been a blessing. Now, my mom finds herself holding fast to this verse since my dad is now with out work. She told me today that all the things she told my brother she is now telling herself and my dad. God’s timing is everything! My brother-in-law is faced with the job search now as well. It’s never easy hunting for a job and having to wait, apply, wait, apply and so on. Although His timing is perfect it is not our timing. I pray daily for both my dad and brother-in-law to not just find jobs, but to find jobs that they love, are passionate about and are called to do. I believe that God will provide!

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV)

August of 2009 was when Chase and I decided that we were ready to start a family. We were so excited, and naturally I assumed it would happen fast. Lots of our friends were getting pregnant quickly and I figured we would be the same way. Month after month we did not get pregnant and it was hard to handle sometimes. Chase and I would pray that we would get pregnant quickly and yet it still wasnt happening. Of course the worrier in me started to think that something was wrong with one of us and that we wouldn’t be able to get pregnant. One night while I was doing my Bible study I felt God reassure me that Chase and I were going to get pregnant and that I needed to just trust Him.

I was at peace, I was finally able to let go of the stress and worry. Then two months later I felt the urge to start praying again for us to get pregnant. I wasn’t really sure why since I had peace about it, but for some reason I felt compelled to pray. A week later we found out that we were pregnant! God is so good! I know that Chase and I did not try as long as some couples, however, any length of time that it takes beyond a couple of months is hard when you are ready to start your next chapter in life. The waiting period for us to get pregnant really helped me grow spiritually. It helped me to trust God more, believe in his peace that He gives, have patience and know that His timing is perfect. And thinking about His timing, no matter how much Chase and I tried to make it happen on our timing everything was in God’s hands and in His perfect control.

If I would have gotten pregnant any sooner or any later than I did then my amazing son would not be here. God’s timing is perfect. He planned for Eli’s existence from the very beginning. He placed Eli at this point in time for a reason, He has plans for Eli’s life that are meant only for him. When I stop to think about that it makes me wonder why I ever try to rush God. God alone has the perfect plan for each person, He has appointed each of us at this point in history because this is the time He wanted us here to make a difference in this world.  Just remember that God’s timing is perfect and makes sense when you sit back and wait for His timing to unfold.