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I Am Not Lupus

February 25, 2013 — Leave a comment

In a little over a month it will be a year since I was diagnosed. To receive a diagnosis that changes everything is tough. You never know how you will take that kind of news until you are faced with it. It can be so easy to sink into depression, searching for the answers to questions that run a continual loop in your thoughts… why me? Why am I sick? What will the future hold? It’s also difficult to process because not everyone will understand what you are going through, because you might not look sick. But we can not stay in this place! When we stay there it can be a long and bumpy road ahead. I believe that my God is with me each and every day. He is there on good days and my horribly flared up days. I have no doubt that my going through this diagnosis and now living with Lupus is teaching me things I would not have learned otherwise.

Snow Day

There is so much more to me than just my Lupus.

But, we all have bad days and sometimes we just need a little reminder… some inspiration to keep us going. The truth is I don’t want this blog to be a constant story about the woes of my disease. Sure there will be posts about some rough flare ups, that’s just part of it. The point is I have Lupus but, I am not Lupus. There is so much more to me than that. I am a wife to the most amazing man who I am blessed to say was my high school sweetheart. I am a mom to an adorable little boy. I am a writer. I get so passionate about writing my thoughts, creating make believe in my novel I am writing, and sharing and expressing myself as a writer. I look at my disease as only giving me more perspective, not just my sole purpose of writing. Lupus is something that affects me every day. Even when I am feeling good I still have things that just come with having a disease to deal with that no one else has to worry about. It will always be a part of who I am. But it doesn’t have to be my identity. I don’t have to be strictly Lupus.

After several months of processing through my diagnosis I decided to take this blog in a different direction. I had been writing this blog for a while but felt it was time to for a change. For me Raising Inspiration is about my life, my journey and my disease. I want to spread a little awareness and some inspiration. My hope is that someone who is having a bad flare up will stumble across here and see that tomorrow is a new day. Perhaps a little laughter is what they find and it brightens their day, because sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. I don’t know why I got Lupus, I just did. And that’s okay. It’s part of who I am and now I have more to add to my story.

 

 

 

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Psalm 119:105 (NIV)

Lately I have changed my routine from reading my Bible before bed to now waking up early and reading it after I work out. It was a challenge making myself actually do this because I do not like getting up earlier than I have to, but I am glad that I finally did. That first week was rough. I was tired from not being used to getting up early and satan was attacking me every which way. It felt like that week I just couldn’t seem to catch a break at all. I was continually reminding myself that he was attacking me because I was doing something right, I was starting my day off with God and satan was going to do everything he could to make me stop. Wonderfully, God has also given me some good friends at work that I was able to share this with and get encouragement. He alwasy knows just what we need and who we need in our paths, it’s just amazing how He does that!

Now that I have adjusted to my new routine I find my days better, my moods better and just feel closer with God through out my day. Morning Bible studies have always been a challenge for me but something that I have felt that I should do for a while now and I am so glad that I made that change! It never fails that when we are doing something right satan will attack. Don’t let that defeat you, don’t give in! God will bless you for diligently seeking Him!

Photo Credit: Brett Jordan 

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” Psalm 100:4 (NIV) 

Life can get busy. There is no doubt about that. But, no matter how busy it gets we can’t ever forget to be thankful for all the blessings in our lives. God is so faithful to pour His blessings on us each and every day and today I am reminded of that. We might have plans that we think would work perfectly and then they fall through, but never underestimate these moments! I am so thankful for God’s perfect timing. I can so easily be impatient waiting for His timing, but there is no denying that every time it comes it is absolutely and completely perfect! God’s blessings come at the right time reminding us that we are in His hands so we have an abundance of things to be thankful for! I know for myself that I have many things to be thankful for, my family, friends and so much more, but for today on this Thankful Thursday I am especially thankful for God’s perfect timing. What are you thankful for?

Photo Credit: David Shane

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NIV) 

Yesterday at church God really spoke to me. It’s amazing how there might be several different points in a sermon but God makes sure that the one you need to hear is clear to you. I wrote last week about being still, letting God work and for me to stop giving him my suggestions. Well that was more than made clear yesterday at church. Our pastor was talking about as Christians we have access to God’s power all we need to do is ask Him, believe and to stop saying/feeling like things are impossible. Wow did that feel like I was being talked directly to! We are trying so hard to get out of debt, get our finances exactly where we believe God wants them and every time something starts to unfold that we think is what we need to have this happen it all falls a part. I have actually found myself praying saying to God how I feel like it is impossible (and of course I give my suggestions that He doesn’t need).

Last night my husband Chase and I had such a great talk. I shared my heart with him and he did the same and we had both found ourselves struggling with the same feelings. I honestly don’t know why we allow ourselves to feel this way because as God’s children we know that our lives are in His hands and He sees what we can not. This morning my friend sent me a text with a passage she had read that made her think of me and it was exactly what I needed to hear. It talked about how the circumstances you are in are for a reason, we are on His chosen path and that we can’t give up, we just have to remain faithful and attentive to Him and listen for His direction. It was another wow moment all over again. I love those moments when God lies on a friend’s heart a message for you that you really need to hear! It is always at the perfect time.

So today I am making a point to believe, trust and know that the circumstances of today are a part of God’s path for me and that they will come together for a better reason than I could imagine because as long as I stay faithful He will guide my every step!

Photo Credit: Michael Mulvey

I have mentioned a few times about the decision that Chase and I have made to become more strict with our finances and work to be debt free. It’s exciting to think about the result of not being weighed down each month with those bills. But, its intimidating and at the moment frustrating. Currently with birthdays, holidays and what not approaching it feels like there is a need for money, the money that we are trying so hard to really be disciplined with. I see money going but it feels like it’s not coming in. I know that God will provide, I have no doubt of this, I just have to remind myself sometimes. Today I came across a poem for times when we are discouraged and it really hit home with me about this issue. I love when God brings things to our attention just when we need to hear it most!

Never Be Discouraged by Helen Steiner Rice

There is really nothing we need to know or even try to understand.

If we refuse to be discouraged and trust God’s guiding hand.

So take heart and meet each minute with faith in God’s great love,

Aware that every day of life is controlled by God above…

And never dread tomorrow or what the future brings,

Just pray for strength and courage and trust God in all things.

And never grow discouraged be patient

 and just wait for “God never comes too early and He never comes too late!”

Photo Credit: Nathan Friedly