Archives For provision

I am four weeks away from meeting my second child! It’s an amazing feeling knowing that we are so close, especially since this was a very long journey. With both of our boys we were not the lucky ones to conceive quickly. The first time around it took us seven months to get pregnant, while that is certainly not long compared to some people’s journeys it definitely is longer than we expected for being young and healthy. Little did we know that I had Lupus and it was playing a factor into me getting pregnant. This time around we were aware that it might take a while. But, I will say even though I thought it would take a while I did not expect it being a two-year wait.

Maternity_11I had weird symptoms for about four years off and on, but nothing that would tie anything together for the doctors to think, hmmm… maybe it’s Lupus. After my oldest was born I had a rough recovery and then around the time he was eight months old all the symptoms I had previously hit at once and more. By the time he was a year and a half I was diagnosed, finally. Truthfully, I was just glad to finally have a name, a thing, a reason for everything. I could finally know what I was working with. Getting any diagnosis is scary, especially one like Lupus since it is so mysterious and can attack any part of your body. It’s hard to predict and hard to treat. But, God gave me a peace from the beginning. My story is from Him, He has everything in control and Lupus is just part of my story and I have come to terms with that. He has plans for me!

Since I was young, one of the first things that the doctor asked was if I wanted to have anymore children. There was no question that I did, we had always talked about wanting to have a large family. But, it was going to have to wait… for the time being. Lupus patients can have safe pregnancies and healthy babies, but the best thing to do is first get it under control before putting your body through the stress of pregnancy. So that meant that I spent the next year working with the doctor to get everything controlled and to a point that I could get pregnant. That was hard, because by then in our ideal world we would have already been trying for another baby. Being told yes, but not right now is very trying…

After a year we finally got the okay from the doctor, everything looked good and we could try for our second child! Yay! And then came the next year… I honestly thought, oh it will take a while, but probably not longer than it took the last time. Well, it took exactly a year before we were pregnant. Since it was such a long wait I truthfully was in shock when I had a positive pregnancy test! You wait that long and eventually you start to think of it as a distant future thing, when it finally meets your present it’s so exciting you can’t believe it.

Fast forward a few months and I am sitting here, my oldest will be four next month and my youngest will be born within the next four weeks. It was definitely not the plan we had envisioned for our family, we had always pictured a two to three-year age gap. But, God has a much better, more beautiful plans than we can make for ourselves. Will we get to have four kids like we always imagined? I don’t know, and at first that saddened me. But now, I know that we will be given the number of children that God had planned for us from the beginning. If that means two, three or four it doesn’t matter, because whatever His plans are for me I am thankful! I am thankful to be called Mom and thankful for the two amazing little boys that God has blessed me with already.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NIV) 

Yesterday at church God really spoke to me. It’s amazing how there might be several different points in a sermon but God makes sure that the one you need to hear is clear to you. I wrote last week about being still, letting God work and for me to stop giving him my suggestions. Well that was more than made clear yesterday at church. Our pastor was talking about as Christians we have access to God’s power all we need to do is ask Him, believe and to stop saying/feeling like things are impossible. Wow did that feel like I was being talked directly to! We are trying so hard to get out of debt, get our finances exactly where we believe God wants them and every time something starts to unfold that we think is what we need to have this happen it all falls a part. I have actually found myself praying saying to God how I feel like it is impossible (and of course I give my suggestions that He doesn’t need).

Last night my husband Chase and I had such a great talk. I shared my heart with him and he did the same and we had both found ourselves struggling with the same feelings. I honestly don’t know why we allow ourselves to feel this way because as God’s children we know that our lives are in His hands and He sees what we can not. This morning my friend sent me a text with a passage she had read that made her think of me and it was exactly what I needed to hear. It talked about how the circumstances you are in are for a reason, we are on His chosen path and that we can’t give up, we just have to remain faithful and attentive to Him and listen for His direction. It was another wow moment all over again. I love those moments when God lies on a friend’s heart a message for you that you really need to hear! It is always at the perfect time.

So today I am making a point to believe, trust and know that the circumstances of today are a part of God’s path for me and that they will come together for a better reason than I could imagine because as long as I stay faithful He will guide my every step!

Photo Credit: Michael Mulvey

I have mentioned a few times about the decision that Chase and I have made to become more strict with our finances and work to be debt free. It’s exciting to think about the result of not being weighed down each month with those bills. But, its intimidating and at the moment frustrating. Currently with birthdays, holidays and what not approaching it feels like there is a need for money, the money that we are trying so hard to really be disciplined with. I see money going but it feels like it’s not coming in. I know that God will provide, I have no doubt of this, I just have to remind myself sometimes. Today I came across a poem for times when we are discouraged and it really hit home with me about this issue. I love when God brings things to our attention just when we need to hear it most!

Never Be Discouraged by Helen Steiner Rice

There is really nothing we need to know or even try to understand.

If we refuse to be discouraged and trust God’s guiding hand.

So take heart and meet each minute with faith in God’s great love,

Aware that every day of life is controlled by God above…

And never dread tomorrow or what the future brings,

Just pray for strength and courage and trust God in all things.

And never grow discouraged be patient

 and just wait for “God never comes too early and He never comes too late!”

Photo Credit: Nathan Friedly 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) 

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” Woody Allen

We make plans. That is how we go about our daily lives. We plan what time to leave the house in the mornings, when to make dinner, what to buy at the grocery store. We plan how we want to raise our children, family vacations, finances and pretty much everything we do is based on some sort of plan. But, how many of those plans change? How many end up looking much different from what we had expected? I have heard the quote from above many times, although I never put much thought into other than thinking it was a good point. But, when you really think about it, it’s completely true. God’s vision for our life never is as we thought it would be. He always has the bigger picture in mind. I believe that we tend to think to small, looking more at the short-term aspect of things… a couple of years or so. God however sees it all, our entire life and knows the courses we will take a long the way. His plans are far better than ours, we can’t do better than what He has in store! I have to remind myself of this plenty of times because I am a planner, an organizer and perfectionist. It’s not easy to let go. I still plan, that is just part of my nature. But, I have to remember to be flexible and listen for God because there is a good chance that what I am planning may change because He has something else in store for me.

Photo Credit: Sylvia Schade

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 (NIV)

“He covers the sky with clouds; he supplies the earth with rain and makes grass grow on the hills.” Psalm 147:8 (NIV) 

This has been a very dry, very hot summer. Little rain in sight. Today is a beautiful day… thunderstorms and a high of 93… not 100! Wow! Who would have seen this coming? It might sound a little cliché to say that God saw it coming, but He did! He knew that we had to have a break from the dreaded heat and desperately needed the rain. So… He provided! It really doesn’t matter what it is that we need, He knows and He provides! It really is as simple as that, yet I know I don’t always remember. It is so easy for me to try to carry things on my own and not wait for Him. This is exactly how God did not intend for it to be. He is the only one who not only knows what I need but knows it better than I do… and He can provide it as well. As moms we know the needs of our children better than they do and so we care for them. It’s the same thing with God. My son never has to worry about his needs, they will always be met, just as we do not need to worry either… our needs will always be met! Today as it rains, I am thankful for His constant ability to provide for me!