Archives For raising children

I am sure that we have all heard the debates about whether moms should work outside the home. I have heard it said that women can’t win, if they work outside the home then they must love their kids less. If they stay home then they don’t want to contribute to society or to their family financially. If we listen to society and these debates then yes, women can’t win. There is no way that we could please everyone with these two options. But, it really shouldn’t be about society and what others think of you as a parent. It is about what God thinks, what your family needs and what you feel about yourself! I left my job a month before my son was born and thought that I would be a stay-at-home mom forever. It’s funny how we make plans for ourselves but God’s plans usually end up in the opposite direction. Here are 10 things I have learned from being a working mom.

  1. Your Child Loves You! My little guy loves me and that love did not change because I went back to work. I visit him every day at lunch and he always has a bright smile and begins to tell me with excitement about his day. His love is unconditional. For that I am grateful. It is all too easy as a mom to make ourselves feel guilty for a number of things. But, our children see us more graciously than we see ourselves.
  2. More Intentional. I have always tried to be intentional with our family time. I never wanted to be the family that all we did was watch TV together. But, it is easy to do when you stay _MG_2659at home all day. Once I began to work outside the home I have found that our family time became more intentional. Less TV time and more playing games, going to the park, evening walks and lots of lego time. It’s not that we were less intentional before, it’s more that we cherish every moment and want to make it count. Even if it is simply hanging out at the house running around like robots.
  3. God Knows Best! Our plans are just that, they are ours. God’s plans typically will differ from what we planned. But, I have learned through the years that He always has a reason for what He does and His plans are always better than I could have done myself.
  4. Making Friends. There is nothing more special than watching my son make friends! He gets excited every day when he walks in to a room full of his best buddies. In our families situation it was not always easy to spend time with friends when I wasn’t working because we are a one car family. Many days we were stuck at home. This has offered a chance for my little guy to play with friends on a regular basis.
  5. No Lesser. I do not feel that being a working parent makes you any lesser of a parent than staying at home. Both roles are extremely important and both roles work hard. It’s easy to tell yourself that you are lesser because you are not home, but this is a lie that we are telling ourselves. Remember, our child loves us unconditionally and sometimes working is what your family needs. Doing what your family needs does not make you lesser! _MG_3138
  6. Always A Mom. This is plan and simple but sometimes you just need to remind yourself that you are a mom no matter if you work from an office or if you work from home. Moms love their children, look out for their best interest and care for their needs. This is true of working moms just as it is true of stay at home moms.
  7. The Mold. There is no perfect mold. Just because you have friends that work or friends that stay home doesn’t mean that you must do what they do. Sometimes what your family needs is not what you even expected. Every family is different, every situation is different and only you know the needs of your family. Don’t feel guilty for knowing the needs of your family!
  8. No One Is Perfect. You will not be perfect in either situation. If you work, you will have days that you feel like a failure as a parent. If you stay at home you will have days that you feel like a failure as a parent. The parenting thing is not easy. Don’t believe the lie that other people have it together, because we are all learning as we go. We are all doing the best that we can, but the truth is that no one is perfect. We will mess up. But, instead of feeling guilty we should lift each other up and support one another because parenting is hard!
  9. Struggles. The grass is not greener on the other side. I have done both and have thoroughly enjoyed both. But, each come with their own struggles, even if you can’t see it when looking in. Working you struggle with juggling your time, stress of the job, and all things parenting. Staying at home you struggle with all things parenting, being isolated, and often times a tight budget. Let’s stop putting up a front and just be transparent with each other. It’s okay to say that you are having  a bad day!
  10. Calling. I firmly believe that if God called you to it, then your family will not be content and thriving unless you are obedient. This is true in either scenario. No matter if God called you to work or if God called you to stay home, you will only ever find true joy being in the will of God!

 

What The Future Holds

October 7, 2013 — Leave a comment

Apparently Mars will be colonized. Seriously! In 2023 the colonists will leave with a one way tickets to Mars. Wow! My heart races as I type those words. Colonize Mars. I am certain that if I cried the last time I flew I would probably be hysterical or passed out flying through space. Ugh! That is something I have zero desire to do! I love a good adventure, in fact I am a nomad at heart. But, a one way ticket to another planet… no thanks!

blog pictureWe have all watched movie after movie of Earth colonizing other planets. It’s now not just a possibility but a reality! This is just crazy! My child is going to grow up in a world where Pluto doesn’t know whether it is a planet and people are living on Mars. WHAT? It’s a totally different world than what I grew up in. Everything will be at his fingertips, and there will be an entire population making their own world far beyond what was a possibility when I was a child. Hashtags that document life events, Facebook that has become the new family photo album, whatever question you might have answered with the tiny phone in your pocket. I have no idea what his world will look like by the time 2023 approaches and people are launching into space headed towards their new lives.

Our world is rapidly changing and what was once my world will probably look more like the dark ages to him. I can see it now,

“Mom, you know you only have to think my name and your phone will dial it. You’re making this harder than it has to be.”

“Well sweetie in my day we actually had to dial on a touch screen phone.”

“What is dialing?”

I know, I am exaggerating a little. But, the world is ever-changing and when my son is my age he will probably be having the same revolutionizing thoughts that I am having…What will the world look like in the future? What kind of world will my kids grow up in?

It’s probably safe to say that I am not the first parent or the first generation to think that the world is changing faster than I can keep up. And I am sure that I won’t be the last to feel this way.

To all the Moms, Happy Mother’s Day!

 

I No Like It!

April 20, 2013 — Leave a comment

Isn’t it amazing the silly things you do once you are a parent?

Let me take you into my world during last night’s dinner. I promise this is 100% a true story!

As I am cooking dinner Chase and Eli were in the living room playing. I was pretty sure that it was not going to be an easy dinner as the two vegetables on our plates were Brussels sprouts and butternut squash. We have been trying to incorporate new vegetables into our diets. Usually I am very intentional about cooking only one “odd” veggie and throwing in the comfort of green beans, mashed potatoes or corn as the complementary side in hopes to make it a little less scary to a toddler. Speaking of that.. why is trying new foods such a big deal anyway?

Well this time I knew that with family coming in town this weekend there was a good chance we would not cook either veggies before they went bad. And I was NOT going to waste our money by letting that happen!

Needless to say we had two new veggies on our plates last night.

Eli was less than impressed! 

I remember when he was a baby he LOVED butternut squash! It was on his top list of favorites, right next to avocado! Well I don’t know if his taste buds have changed or just the stubborn two-year old thing has kicked in, but he does not care for it now!

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We decided to make a house rule: You don’t have to like the food, but you do have to try it first before you decide. 

My hope is that if he tries it enough maybe one day he will like it. I mean it worked with Chase, now he enjoys a lot of veggies he hated growing up. I just want to make sure that my children try new things and appreciate what is given to them. You simply can’t say that you don’t like food until you have tasted it. You might be missing out on something awesome! Yes, I am well aware that my child is only a toddler, but we are setting the tone for the years to come!

So we sat down to dinner. Chase and I were enjoying our dinner, Eli wouldn’t touch his food. And then it happened…

“I know it’s new, and you’ve never tasted it.
You’ll just have to trust in me.
Just give it a try.

Try it. You’ll like it.
Try it. You’ll like it.
Try it. You’ll like it.
Try it. You’re gonna like it.”

That’s right people, Chase and I started singing Yo Gabba Gabba in hopes that Eli would try his new veggies. Oh, that was probably a sight to see! The toddler refusing to eat his veggies and two adults singing at the table. Yes, this did happen! Unfortunately it didn’t really work, he still decided after licking each one that “I no like it But you know what, that’s okay. It’s one meal, one new veggie at a time!